Skip to main content

Losing it


picture me here instead of Max

This is what I was going to tell you about 3 weeks ago:

I am losing my mind because
  • I love to travel but I really don't like it. I like my routine and I like having a plan. Both go out the window when I travel and it makes me nervous. I told Karl Sunday night that I was feeling somewhat stressed about taking the kids to Utah by myself. Ironically, that proved to be the easy part.
  • We noticed our car shaking when breaking at high speed and figured it could easily be fixed by rotating the tires. Or something like that. Wrong! When Karl called the shop they told us we would most likely need to replace the rotors and break pads. It would cost around $250 and we could bring it in tomorrow. What?!? I don't have time or money for that! Needless to say that I was feeling a little more stressed...
  • Noah was due for his flu shot Monday afternoon. Nothing like taking two healthy children to the doctor and waiting for 45 minutes for a tiny little shot! The kids were doing well but I was furious by the time they called us back. Nurse: How are you doing today? Me: Fine!
  • Tuesday was definitely the highlight. Bringing your only car to the shop is somewhat tricky. Especially when it is supposed to be there at 8:30. Good thing we have plenty of bikes! After my early morning swim, Karl took Noah to school while I was frantically getting ready for a long morning. I had finally strapped my bike onto the car and shoved the trail-a-bike into the trunk with 5 minutes to spare, when I realized that my keys were nowhere to be found. And I mean nowhere! Not under any bed, not in the garbage, not in the shower, not even under my pillow! How is that possible? I just had them! I was losing it. Big time! I was going to be late to the car shop, too late to my meeting, and way too late to the gym... Not sure Max had ever seen me going berserk before! I finally found them under a stuffed animal in the kids' room. Max admitted he put them there. I did not even have time or energy to get mad at him.
  • I tell the Primary President: I can only meet on Tuesday at 9 am. Then I tell the car shop: I need to bring in my car at 8:30. Then: I need to pick up my car by 11 am. Who do I think I am?!? Not sure why anybody would put up with me... But thanks anyway! To my great relief the mechanic says the car is safe to drive to Utah but needs to be fixed asap. Whatever that means... I'll take it! So I make another appointment for the day after we get back.
  • We hurry over to the gym. I had a 90 minute bike ride on tap and child care closes at 1pm. I hop on the bike at 11:25. I should be fine, right? Well. Not so much. There is a spin class from 12-12:45. Knowing that this was going to be an issue from the beginning, I told Karl in the morning: I have no choice today but to do my own thing during MX's class. He is going to be pissed. And that is exactly what happened! I want to clarify that I realize that this is not an ideal situation. If you go to a spin class, you should follow the instructor's workout. However, given the situation, I felt completely justified in what I was doing. There were 4 empty bikes and I was on the one in the back corner. I tried to blend in as well as I could but, unfortunately, dancing around on the bike was not what Coach M had in mind for me that day. After the warm up MX says to me: You are going to follow my workout today or I am going to have to ask you to give up your bike. Gulp! Give up my bike to who??? There is no one remotely interested in this bike right now! I tell him: Ok. If you put one of these spin bikes out there, I will. He replies: I just might. He does not say anything else for the rest of the class but I knew this was not the end of it. So I tried to prepare myself for the upcoming argument. Unfortunately, by the time he was ready to argue, I had another 30 minutes to go. Oh well. Nothing like a little rage to fuel my workout. It's been 3 weeks since this incident and I don't remember our exact exchange but it was not pretty anyhow. He, as the manager, insisted to tell all the other spin instructors to kick me out of their classes if I was not following their exact workout. My point was that there is only a 1.5 hour window during child care hours when there is not a spin class. I try to make it during that time but it was impossible today. This has happened a total of 2 other times this year. I feel like I have the right to be on one of the spin bikes when it is not being used by someone who wants to participate in the class. It's not like I am the only one in there doing my own thing anyway. I think MX takes it personal and is offended because his class is not good enough for me. Well, the truth is: His class was great! I was wishing I could join in on the fun. But it is not what I need to be doing. And he knows that! We were not coming to any sort of conclusion, so I said: I would like to speak to your boss! And that is what I did. It cost me a lot of tears (in private) and nerves but Karl was right when he said that night: No one is going to just walk over my wife!
  • So we headed to Utah the next morning (after the kids went to school some, I worked out some, and packed some more) and I was excited for a change of scenery. Things went swell until I ... got pulled over for the first time in my life! Coming down from the North Rim I was simply going too fast. No excuses here! Having been an emotional mess for the last few days anyway, I cried some more (behind my sunglasses) but had to laugh when the (very nice) police offer asked: What do you do for a living? Are you a professional skier? I guess he must have come to that conclusion after noticing the 3 bikes (!) I had on the back of the car. I will take it as a compliment!
  • It does not end here but I am kind of done with this post. And I am sure you are too!






Comments

camilla said…
dumbest story EVER about your spinning instructor. I really don't think that the instructor at FAC would care at all. That is so dumb. I'd be mad to. who cares? I'm super mad and fired up for you. lol.
kar jar said…
Thanks for all the help and your willingness to give me a hall pass for a couple weeks even with all the existing craziness!
Gaby Jensen said…
Ugh. Rough patch! That's not the first time I've heard of that though.. at a spin class at the U that happened where an extra (unwanted) bike was being used by a regular who was trying to squeeze in some extra training and my instructor lost it. I'd agree that it's just them taking it personally that you weren't participating, to which I say, why can't we all just bike in harmony?! You do your thing, I do mine and we all walk away with what we really need, which is a good workout for where our individual bodies are at?! Even when I'm "doing" their workout I'm still tweaking it here and there for my own needs!

Popular posts from this blog

Racing Season '09

So far, this season has been really good . I have done 4 races and have been able to stand on top of the podium 4 times. Yeah! I am still far from where I could be and would like to be but, I guess, I'll take it. But I really need to get my act together... Having nice gear always helps, though. And, thanks to Salt Lake Running Company , I have plenty of it. Unfortunately, in January when they ordered our stuff, I had big plans and was hoping to be back in shape by May. Well, I am not. So most of the beautiful stuff they sent is just sitting in the closet waiting to be worn for the first time. My fault. Should have ordered a bigger size . Maybe next season. Luckily, the backpack fits! Noah loves the pink. So do I. These are the fanciest running shoes I have ever owned. I love them. They are so comfortable , really light , and super fast to put on. Sadly, I only get to wear them on race day. If they were not so expensive, I would get myself a pair just to wear around. Okay, not...

I am so lucky

I feel the need to write. My thoughts are all jumbled. Can I make sense of them on paper? Writin g gives me perspective and makes it easier to let go. Last weekend I was very frustrated, mad, self-centered, unhappy , wallowing in self-pity. This weekend I was more balanced, a little more patient, trying to be less selfish, happy . How did it happen? I have had to deal with myself for almost 30 years now and, luckily, have figured out a few things on the way. Like how to feel at peace with myself , my family , my life . It shouldn't be complicated to be happy in my circumstances. I realize that. But sometimes it still is. Sometimes being a mom and wife doesn't come easy to me. Sometimes I think everyone would be better off if I wasn't a mom and wife. Sometimes I wish it was easier to just take off and do nothing but swimbikeruneatsleep for a week or two. It's not helping that my German teammates are doing just that. Right now. On a beautiful island. In the warm...

Personal Best

I wish I could tell you about being my personal best as a mother, wife, or friend. Unfortunately, this is not the case. But while I am working on that, let me tell you about my new personal half-marathon record . I am definitely NOT a friend of road running races. Especially not in Utah, where they all tend to be more or less downhill. That said, I was still really excited to run in the Salt Lake 1/2 marathon for a few reasons: I got a complimentary race entry from the SLRC . How could I pass up a free race? My friend Carlee was racing. I love racing with friends. Friday night was like a girls' night out and Saturday was a party! Flat and/or downhill = fast . And that's always fun! Highlights : Feeling good rather than sick Being able to push myself but not too hard Chatting with friend and pro triathlete Malaika A new PR 1:29:53 My 6:51 pace 17th out of 2886 women Carlee's PR Chocolate milk and Creamies at the finish Lowlights : Boredom . Running on asphalt throug...