Race Report: 2015 Ironman ARIZONA

the Utah gals after the pro meeting - love them! 

I have a love-hate relationship with this race. 

Love: the people, my homestay, the weather, FRIENDS, downtown Tempe

Hate: Tempe Town Lake, the bike course, the run course. 

I basically love everything ABOUT this race, just not the race ITSELF. Ha! 

After living in Flagstaff, AZ, for 5 years, this is a bit of a home-town race for me (I watched and cheered in 2011, 2012, 2013 and raced in 2014) which makes everything pre- and post-race an absolute BLAST. Lots of friends and teammates in town to meet up with! I really like the Tempe vibe. BUT I try to mostly stay away from the hullabaloo before the race except for a little glimpse here and there which is enough to get me FIRED UP! 

I enjoy traveling to races by myself and am always up for a solo adventure to a new location.  Ironman CDA in June was quite the trip and I learned a lot about myself. Vineman (now Ironman Santa Rosa) only a month later was less of a mess but filled my quota of racing solo for the year. So while I drove down to Phoenix by myself, I knew that once I hit town, I would be surrounded by familiar faces and places and I was REALLY looking forward to that. 

part of the Coeur family at the expo - my tribe! 

 I am not sure if it was premonition that lead me to write a post about the preparation for this race BEFORE race day or if I was simply really excited to have had such a good lead-up. In either case, I am glad I did for the exact reason I mention in that post: ... it can be difficult to objectively look at a build-up for a race AFTER the race already took place and you know the outcome. BINGO! 

Since you might not want to go back and read the last post, I am going to quote a couple of sentences from it: This entire preparation has gone really well. Hopefully not too well. I don't think I've had a build-up to an Ironman, including traveling and race week so far, better than this one. I know from my own and others' experiences that how well or crappy race preparation went MAY not make the difference on race day. But it may. I was feeling confident in my abilities and excited to toe the line! 

SPOILER ALERT: 

Ironman Arizona 2015 will be the first race that I record a DNF in my triathlon career of 19 years. 

Here is how it went down. 

Amazing photo of transition area and swim start. Photo credit: NA

Race Morning

The usual. Except that at this race I have my favorite German-pro-triathlete-living-in-Phoenix by my side (almost) every step of the way from when the kitchen alarm goes off at 3am to when we jump into the water. Although I am usually quite independent, I love having a partner-in-crime the hours and days before a big race like this that I trust and that knows what he's doing. Thank you, PNB, for your hospitality, guidance, and friendship! And for being German. Love me some German! 

blonde German ROKA twinners

There was just one thing missing. I was a bit sad that I hadn't seen my best friend yet this trip! Because of work and family Karen wasn't able to drive down from Flagstaff until race morning, which meant I wouldn't see her until the bike! No big deal. I'll survive. Imagine my surprise when we made it to the front of the swim start and I hear her calling me from behind the barriers! I was so so so happy to see her and get a BIG hug from her. It made my morning! I did have to tell her that it's a bit early to start crying already but, as you know, we are cry babies and proud of it! In case you are new to this game, there are two things you need to know about Ironman: For most of us, this is a VERY emotional day and, while we try to hold our sh*t together as best we can for as long as we can, sometimes we just can't help it! And it takes a village. It really does. And Karen is like the mayor of my village because of countless days like this one in October!

Some badass cry babies right here.

The Swim (57:38, 1:29/100m)

Water was 63 degrees and felt just fine. I was stoked to swim in the ROKA wetsuit! (No, I am not sponsored by ROKA. I wish! I was actually borrowing the Maverick Pro from a friend. It's just THAT good.)  After a good little warm-up behind the start line, I was chatting with friends and sort of just lined up where they did: in a big group in the middle. I love the women's pro field! So many great girls! And when the gun went off, I just went HARD. Like I always (try to) do but key this time was that I didn't let up. I hung in there for much longer than usual. I now know that in previous races I have simply settled in too early. But with all of the oxygen in the air and the right  mind set, I was able to keep going strong until a natural group formed and - turns out - the group was just right! Phew...

It's interesting: I would say that swimming did not go very well during the month before the race. I went and I did the work but I wasn't feeling it. I had fun but I didn't swim as fast as I did during the summer. I wasn't worried about it during the race but I certainly wasn't expecting to set a new IM swim PR. So - just like last year and very unfortunately - the swim would end up being the highlight of the race.

That said, I don't think I went too hard that first hour. I am not sure I am even capable of that. I was having fun and worked the whole time in order to not lose the group. It was never easy but also never outside of my race comfort zone. I don't feel like I left the race in the water. And I was just fine temperature wise. A bit on the cold side but perfect for racing.

What do I hate about Tempe Town Lake? Oh, not much. Just that it's dirty and mucky and so very dark. I love beautiful lakes that I can jump back into after the race just for fun like I did at Ironman CDA. This one is not a lake made for swimming. No one ever swims in it (it's not allowed) except for races and the practice swim the day before Ironman which those who know better stay away from because we'd rather not get sick. I seriously think you are better off LOOKING at the lake and getting a feel for the course (you can jog alongside all of it) and then going to one of the local pools for your pre-race swim. Honestly though, I don't mind it during the race. I like the straight out-n-back course (you really can't get lost here) and the bridges we swim under with LOTS of people cheering up on top.

The Bike (5:10:16, 21.7mph)

Running out of the water, through transition, and the first few hundred yards of the bike are a BLAST.  There is a massive amount of people cheering, clapping, and generally going nuts. It's a circus and I love it! It gets me all pumped up just in time for the usual beginning-of-the-Ironman-bike speech I give myself over and over for the first hour: Relax. Ease into it. Do your own thing. Let them go. Watch your power. Coach Liz and I are trying to find a happy medium between riding by NUMBERS - which we tried at Ironman CDA and I about lost it and quit the sport altogether - and riding by FEEL - which works much better for me (see Vineman) but, seeing how I have yet to nail the marathon, this is a work in progress at the 140.6 distance. I was doing well at keeping things very much under control today. Or so I thought. I felt fine. I felt good. It felt sustainable. I let the girls come and go and didn't get caught up in it or let it make me nervous. Good girl!

Coming back into town, especially after a first pretty lonely loop, is SO FUN! The cheers, smiles, support, friends, and energy is incredible and makes a HUGE difference for us athletes. Especially friends like Karen who go completely nuts and make you laugh so hard that you might fall of your bike. Those are the BEST! Ironman is a long day and every clap and cheer means a LOT. Thank you!

Karen doing her little dance

I was cold but not too cold yet. I was waiting for the sun to come out and warm be up. My legs felt like crap from the beginning. Just like at Vineman where they finally came around once I had warmed up. Maybe this should've been a sign that I was already colder than I wanted to admit? I was NOT dressed warm enough. That's a fact. Forecast was very similar to last year and so I dressed just like last year. Tri top and shorts with nothing extra. That turned out to be a major mistake. Driving to the race, I remember telling PNB - who wears his race kit, a long-sleeve shirt, leg warmers, toe warmers and a balaclava last year and this - that I will be ok as long as the sun is out. This place isn't called VALLEY OF THE SUN for no reason! I honestly thought I would be just fine. I am not sure if the forecast changed at some point and I missed it because I don't like to obsessively check the weather before the race or if the forecast was simply wrong. Either way, the sun let me down today. There were only a few short minutes of sunny bliss during which I would suddenly feeling SO MUCH better. Like a switch was flipped. I remember thinking: Wow. The SUN for me makes a bigger difference than any sugar or caffeine. In the sun I would get my hopes up that things might turn around and I will warm back up but it was short-lived. The second loop we rode in pouring rain and that pretty much sealed the deal. I kept getting colder and colder.

Did I give up on the bike? Did I think that I might not be able to finish this race? Definitely NOT. I stayed on top of hydration and nutrition the entire ride. I was CONVINCED that if I execute the plan flawlessly, things will improve. They will have to. I will have to feel better at some point. I never gave up that hope until mile 13 of the run. I had a total of 2,000 calories with me on the bike (about half of it at special needs) and thought that would put me on the safe side. I took in 350cal/hour but today it just wasn't quite enough. I grabbed two extra gels at one of the later aid stations because I was about to run out of fuel. Maybe I was burning more calories simply to keep my body warm and functioning? Should I have had more solids considering the weather? Questions I am going to be seeking an answer to.

sun out = big smile

Funny little story that first made me mad and then had me laughing pretty hard: Later on in the bike Camilla Lindholm went by me followed VERY closely by a random age grouper. I had them in my  sights for probably at least 40 minutes and that entire time the same guy was glued to her back wheel. Now, I admit that her back and, let's just say it, her BUTT is quite the nice view but this is ILLEGAL. I am convinced that she was completely unaware of him. She was just doing her thing staring straight ahead. After a looong time of him drafting like this and on a slight downhill, I was right behind them when I started to notice her shifting around on her seat, soft pedaling, and standing up. The classic sign of: I am about to pee. Of course Mr. Drafter is completely oblivious. It took her a while to be able to let go, they slowed down some, and just as I was passing them I noticed water pee dripping down her bike and spraying off the back. She got the guy pretty good and I couldn't help but feel a fair amount of Schadenfreude. Take that, dude! I believe it was the great Chrissie Wellington that suggested this exact scenario to get rid of whoever is illegally drafting behind you. Nice work, Camille! 

While I was very cold and semi-miserable for the first 4 hours, the joy and thrill of racing never completely left me. There are ALWAYS a lot of ups and downs during a 10+ hour race and, although this one so far had a lot more downs than I am used to, I could still see the FUN in it. During the last hour on the bike, however, the struggle became real. Suddenly my power went WAY down. I was pushing 200 watts one minute and only 150 the next. And it felt THE SAME. I was also starting to get dizzy and - now looking back - I wasn't really in control of things much anymore. And I am still not exactly sure why. I was cold but not freezing uncontrollably. I had been eating and drinking just fine. I don't actually remember much of those last 20 miles but I know that I kept telling myself that the low watts is ok. I am just preparing to have a good run. I didn't desperately try to get power higher than what I thought I could push and still run well. I lost a lot of time here but I honestly still thought I could run well! In this sport it is necessary to be able to deceive yourself to some degree in training and racing. And I am usually quite good at it. This time I may have just been delirious though! 

What do I hate about this bike course? My friend Bus would say: Don't be a hater! Well, I just can't help it in this case. I think this course is NO FUN. And ugly. And way too flat. You would have to pay me to ride on the Beeline at any other time than race day. As far as traffic on the later loops go, I don't think it's too bad. I honestly think, aside from a few idiots, everyone is doing their BEST to stay legal and be courteous. It does get crowded but for this course I actually prefer the multi-loop format. Outside of the city center there are hardly any spectators (due to the nature of this course) and I like having people around me when I race to keep me focused and entertained. I love cheering for teammates, friends, and random racers and enjoy hearing their encouragement. The triathlon community is exceptional in this regard. In case you are wondering: My ideal bike course is Vineman or St. George or Luxembourg: 1 or 2 loops. Lots of climbing. Smooth roads. SCENIC. 

Finally. Get me off this bike. 

Run  (DNF)

I got off the bike and was dizzy and had no control over my legs in transition. I remember looking down to figure out if I was running or walking. Very strange. Never had that happen before. And the ladies in the tent seemed SO CONCERNED and I couldn't figure out WHY! 

Something felt off from the start. VERY off. And I STILL couldn't figure out why. I decided to simply execute the crap out of this run* and eventually things would improve. They had to. I still believed in that. I believed that if I stayed on top of nutrition, hydration, and pacing that I would warm up and find myself again. That's how Ironman is supposed to work, right? Things can always come back around. So I ate and drank and ran and went to the bathroom. Argh! I had tried so hard to limit fiber and eat just right pre-race and blablabla and here I am still going to the bathroom. I was not happy about that but also didn't care too much. Not my main concern today. 

* This is exactly what I yelled at Karen at one point. Ok. Not EXACTLY. I actually, for the first (and possibly last but probably not) time in the history of SBJ said the f-word out loud. I am going to bleeping execute the crap out of this race!!! THAT is how strongly I felt about this. Maybe I should've used the s-word instead of crap. Maybe that would've made the difference... 

I felt as miserable as I look. Pic by Coeur Sports

I was cold. So cold. And dizzy. Everything seemed blurry. I couldn't focus no matter how hard I tried. And I kept getting colder. When you're running 7:45 pace that is not supposed to be happening. Not even when the rain keeps pouring. My hopes of warming up on the run vanished. After 8 miles of this I was starting to get worried about myself. That has never happened in a race before. I might be impatient and frustrated with myself, or even pissed at myself. I go through a lot of emotions but I don't ever worry about my general health while racing. Today I did. More and more so. I had no idea what exactly was going on but I knew it was not good and could get a lot worse if I wasn't smart about it. At least that's the feeling I had inside. 

At mile 12 I almost biffed it because I couldn't make it up a curb and that's when I made the call. I was going to quit. For the first time ever. As soon as I hit transition after the first loop. Then I changed my mind. Just get to Special Needs, take a minute to get your stuff. Gather yourself. Keep going. You are not a quitter, you're still standing, you will finish what you started. So I ran another mile and stopped at SN. Drink the 5-hour-energy, stuff your pockets, try again. But as I let go of the table I had been holding onto, I had a really hard time standing up straight and couldn't figure out how to get down the high curb without collapsing. Game over. In my messed-up head I couldn't justify trying to run another 13 miles and possibly fainting on the other side of the lake in the rain and cold with no one to help. I thought I was seriously going to die if that happened. Oh the drama!

So I quit right then and there and simply walked back a few yards and over to the medical tent in transition. I didn't tell anyone on course and no one seemed to notice. The staff in the medical tent took very good care of me and let me leave after half an hour when my temperature and blood pressure went up a bit. What do you know, I was going to be fine eventually... It took about 24 hours and then I was back to normal. To be honest, I sort of wish I had fallen into a ditch or actually fainted because that makes for a better reason to DNF, and although I was close, that didn't happen. In general, I am very much in the Biscay/Kessler camp: If things don't go your way, gut it out. Unless you are physically unable to finish, find a way to get to that finish line. I have done so in countless triathlons over the last 19 years and I am proud of that record. However, I have no regrets about my first DNF. Not then, not now. I asked myself at Special Needs if I might possibly regret this decision later under these circumstances and the answer was - and still is - NO. 

Coeur Team breakfast Monday morning

As soon as I got out of the medical tent, I got my phone and called Karen. We met up and - you guessed it - had a good cry together. I had basically been bawling ever since the moment I quit and it took quite a while to stop the tears. As many of you know and the rest can guess: This is a big deal. I worked hard for so many hours, weeks, and months for this race. To toe the line with confidence, to execute a tried-and-true plan, to race well, and to finish strong. I failed at accomplishing my goals. And yet - I think this uncertainty is exactly what keeps triathlon and especially Ironman so interesting and intriguing for me. There is simply NO guarantee. There are a million things that can go wrong on race day and, no matter how well-prepared we are, sometimes we can't solve all of the problems. Many things, including the weather, are entirely out of our control. Now, granted, I could've been smarter and put on an extra layer on the bike. Would that have saved the day? Honestly, I don't think so. Not with the relentless rain (which was NOT in the forecast). An extra WET layer wouldn't have done me much good. But if I could go back, I'd give it a try.

A nice long hot shower later and I was already feeling SLIGHTLY better. Good enough to pretend that I'm ok. So many great friends in town, who had helped me out a lot on and before race day, that I didn't want to let down anymore than I already had. While I felt like spending the afternoon and evening curled up in bed, I knew that I would regret not spending time with them and sharing their successes. P had a fantastic race and I was so happy for him! We all went out to dinner, hung out, and cheered on some late finishers. A midnight waffle and ice cream snack (at least that 5-hour energy I took right before I quit did its job) while discussing the day's events and sharing stories was a good finish to a long, exhausting, and memorable day. Thanks, P! Some day I hope to have it all down as well as you and race with as much emotional composure. But then again, that might make for a pretty boring race report. We'll see. I am certainly planning on riding this Ironman roller coaster for a few more years!

Interestingly enough, there were no tears the next day or after that. Very much unlike my race here in 2015 where I couldn't stop crying. The only thing that I was struggling with is that I had all of this amazing fitness with nowhere to go and use it! I briefly considered Ironman Cozumel but I knew there was no way I can pull it off with family and holidays. I wanted to run a marathon but there is none in Utah at this time of year. But then I had a genius idea! An idea that was gold for body, mind, and soul and start the healing process. See next post... 

I am so blessed with great people in my life who mean the world to me. Thank you for riding this roller coaster with me! 

A huge Thank You to my fantastic sponsors:

Coeur Sports - The BEST in women's athletic wear

 T3 Triathlon - My FAVORITE triathlon shop

Fuji Bikes - In LOVE with my Norcom Straight

Zoot Shoes - My shoes of choice since 2008

Cobb Saddles - Most COMFORTABLE saddle ever

Osmo Nutrition - Hydration at its BEST

Honey Stinger - The nutrition that keeps me going

Tifosi Sunglasses - I wear them every single day!