I did not race last weekend. Instead, I was cheering for my kids at the Mountair Mile Children's race. Go here to read Noah's race report.
I feel the need to write. My thoughts are all jumbled. Can I make sense of them on paper? Writin g gives me perspective and makes it easier to let go. Last weekend I was very frustrated, mad, self-centered, unhappy , wallowing in self-pity. This weekend I was more balanced, a little more patient, trying to be less selfish, happy . How did it happen? I have had to deal with myself for almost 30 years now and, luckily, have figured out a few things on the way. Like how to feel at peace with myself , my family , my life . It shouldn't be complicated to be happy in my circumstances. I realize that. But sometimes it still is. Sometimes being a mom and wife doesn't come easy to me. Sometimes I think everyone would be better off if I wasn't a mom and wife. Sometimes I wish it was easier to just take off and do nothing but swimbikeruneatsleep for a week or two. It's not helping that my German teammates are doing just that. Right now. On a beautiful island. In the warm
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